The Breaking

Nathaniel Allen

5/30/2020-3/18/2021

You’ll never win; you never have

Why do you even try

You are nothing without me

And I will be you until you die

You sing so many songs to your friends

About how this is not the end

But you can’t even go a day

Without at least pondering the way

That I can make you feel

How I can relight your zeal

For the things that you believe

For just how much you hate me

And why is that exactly

Because I don’t really think it’s true

If you truly hated me you would leave

But you act as though you love me

God, you are all of me

Keep telling yourself that

I’m sure you feel better when you pray

When you use the words from the songs you sing

We both know your words ring hollow

Upon the ears of the God you claim to follow

As if you could speak for someone like him

Who hung the very stars while the sky was dim

You don’t even believe the things you write

You struggle so hard to get all of them right

Afraid that you’ll misrepresent what God said

That you’ll say something wrong and lose all of your friends

From the lack of faith you see in your own life

That something you say will lead others astray

And you won’t be able to take the words back

Or that someone you love will fall through the cracks

Stop trying so hard, Nate it’s okay

The world will burn with or without your say

You could never write or say a single worthwhile thing

At least not while I’m still here inside of you thriving

Where do you think you would even be without me

So much of your work has been born out of the pain I cause you

If I hadn’t hurt you, your perspective on the world would be so boring

How could you abhor the things of this world if there wasn’t already some part of yourself you lived abhorring 

How could you love the ones around you if I hadn't shown you what love is not

There is so much in your heart you are so desperately convicted of

But none of it rings true while you cling onto me

And hold me in your soul

And therein lies the folly of your existence

Without me you are nothing but empty words

And with me the words you say are given credence

But you live the life of a hypocrite